Living up to my title

I’m going to tell you something. But, before I do I want to make something perfectly clear: hell has not frozen over, and pigs aren’t flying just yet. That said, here’s what you need to know…

Yesterday I lived up to the term “housewife”.

I even wore my apron.

Brad had a hot dinner waiting for him when he came home.

I baked.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Zoe and I woke up nice and casually like we like to do. We came downstairs, ate breakfast and I wrote my blog because I didn’t know what the day might hold and I just felt like I needed to get it done early. After I finished Zoe and I played on the floor . We did developmental stuff. We stacked blocks. I made her a drum out of a Lipton Tea canister that we had in the cupboard. And then I busted out “The Ants Go Marching One by One” with a beat and everything for her. Today I’m adding a…what are those things called that are oval on one end and then you hold them by the handle? They’re Spanish. They sound like they have beans in them. Macarena? No?…anyways I’m making one of those out of a cashew can and rice. I plan on busting out the scrapbook paper at some point and making her “instruments” pretty. Oh yeeeeaaaaah…. you know you want some. Brad came home for lunch and Zoe and I were still in our pj’s, because that’s how we roll.

When he left Zoe and I decided that it was time to go to the store so that I could bake during naptime. I was making a pumpkin muffins with a streusel topping and cream cheese filling. I found the recipe over the weekend, and I couldn’t wait to make them! Brad and I got all the ingredients and I was so so so ready…except, I forgot that we didn’t have the muffin pan. So as we were walking out the door, I get a call from my dad. He’d hit a deer. The car was wrecked. He was in Starke. I told him I was walking out the door and headed his way. I threw some snacks into the diaper bag and away we went. That was at 12:30, after picking up my dad, picking up my mom, hanging out at their house in the Cove while my dad talked to the insurance, taking Zoe out to the horses and the cow…which she was afraid of/loved…and playing with the parrots, we fed the fish and played piano, then it was time to take Daddy to get the rental car and my mom to her other job, we walked back in our door at 5:30. {Can I just say that while I don’t wish that people hit deer and get stranded, that part of what I love about staying at home is that it frees me up to help people when they need it.}

When we walked in the door I was almost shocked at how messy it was. I typically don’t even bother picking up until about 15/30 minutes before Brad gets home. I’ll straighten throughout the day, but I don’t bother with the mess unless I’m legit cleaning that day. I was not legit cleaning yesterday. The house could’ve been declared a disaster zone. I tried to find one space that was clean. There was none. Brad still wasn’t home, so I set to work. Zoe and I raced upstairs, threw the sheets in the washer {thank you Hemmi} and threw my pile of clothes into the laundry hamper. FYI…it totally counts as “doing laundry” if you start the washing machine. Give yourself the credit you deserve. You did laundry that day. We picked up all of Zoe’s bath toys that she loves to throw in the tub in the morning, and then headed back downstairs. I left her in the living room playing with toys while I cleaned the kitchen. Within 10 minutes, I had the counters clean, the dishes in the dishwasher and dinner started on the stove….that’s when Brad walked in the door.

He was exhausted from work, so I told him to just go change and then by the time he got back downstairs I had dinner all plated up. Who IS this girl???? We laughed and talked over dinner, my sister and her fiance got home, we talked, I started baking my muffins, Brad put Zoe to bed, Ryan went home, Jess and I talked wedding stuff and marriage stuff, I kept baking, Brad sat down to watch a movie, Jess went upstairs, I hung up my apron and joined Brad on the couch, 23 minutes later we feasted on the most delicious thing I’ve ever baked, and then I gave him a foot rub.

And then I told him that I was a pretty damn darn good housewife.

Happy Tuesday Ya’ll

ps. When my dad hit that deer…or actually the deer hit my dad…he hadn’t even stopped his car yet and another guy was already stopped and dragging the deer away. That’s fresh meat ya’ll!

pps…you know you’re in the country when somebody stops to collect the deer before you can take pictures for the police.

ppps….I totally would’ve tried to figure out a way to get the deer home. And then I would’ve called somebody to come clean it for me…..that’s fresh meat ya’ll! 🙂

A post, and some honeymoon pictures

{2 years ago Brad and I were having the time of our lives on our honeymoon. Today’s pictures are from that week.}

Before I got married I had no clue what it meant. I mean, I knew that you get to do the hibbity dibbity, that you live with the same guy for the rest of your life, that you have a {hopefully} built in best friend for the rest of your life, and that it was going to be hard work but it would be worth it. I had no idea what that “work” would look like. I had no idea what living life with a guy meant. I had no clue…I just knew that we would figure it out, and that I had to marry Brad. And, let’s be honest, I was really just interested in the hibbity dibbity.

I heard, somewhere, that your husband will never be your best girlfriend. That, yes, he can most definitely be your best friend, but he will never be a girlfriend…and don’t try to make him one. Well, that’s great. But, what they don’t say is that guys sometimes stink at conversations, especially those conversations where a girl needs a sounding board….and not a wall. I’m wrong. I know I’m wrong. I heard that before I got married too. I just wasn’t ready for it. I heard that guys are different. I heard that they see a problem and they just try to fix it. I heard that sometimes they just don’t know what to say, so they say nothing. I heard that it would be frustrating….I had no idea how frustrating it would be.

{Yosemite National Park…one of my dreams come true}

{If you look close, you’ll see that I’m wearing a jacket because it’s cold…and flip flops}

Last night I was driving home and I called Brad to let him know I was on my way. He knew by the tone in my voice I wasn’t ok. He asked me to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about it because I knew that I wouldn’t get the response that I needed. But, he asked, and I had to give him a fair shot…right? So, I unloaded….everything. Every emotion that I will never be able to talk about or express to anybody else except for my husband, I talked about. I was yelling, I was cussing, I was crying….I was a hot mess. And do you know what I got in response?

**crickets**

Oh Lord have mercy, if that didn’t send me over the edge. I had to get off the phone before I started yelling at him. I wanted him to defend me. I wanted him to validate what I was going through. I wanted him to say something. And I got crickets. I spent the rest of the drive home fuming, using precious energy that should have been directed at the situation and instead was directed at my husband. The truth? I was looking for a fight. There’s probably nothing that Brad could’ve said that would’ve satisfied me on the phone. Any little mistake that he made on his end would have been cause for me to pick a fight. And the way my emotions were rolling, screw the mountain, I was about to make that molehill into World War III. I bet nobody told Brad that would come with marriage…. 😉

{Checking another baseball field off Brad’s bucket list…the reason we chose San Francisco instead of Lake Tahoe}

{I was wearing 3 layers of clothes and I was FREEZING}

The drive was long enough that by the time I got home I knew {logically} that I was mad at Brad for something that wasn’t his fault. I knew {logically} that I was deflecting my emotions onto him. I knew {logically} that while it was true that we probably need to work on communication, and expectations in conversations, that wasn’t what I was mad about, and that it didn’t need to be addressed that night. But did I care? No. Did that stop me from being so ticked off that I couldn’t see straight? No. Did I still want a fight when I walked in the door? Yes. Would that have been fair? No.

{Napa Valley. Amazing.}

{At the castle winery}

So, I didn’t fight. I sat on the couch, fuming, crying, and fighting this massive fight in my brain with myself trying to talk myself out of being mad at my husband. The fun thing was that he knew the whole time what was going on. Typically, he’s clueless as to what’s going on when I’m upset about something. But this time, he knew on the phone that he wasn’t saying what I needed. I tried desperately to not take my anger out on him. I tried desperately to get back to neutral. He tried desperately to help me get there. I told him I wasn’t “really really” mad at him, that I was just looking for a fight. He told me he knew that. I told him that I wanted to call him back on the drive home and just let loose. He told me he knew that and that’s why he turned his phone off. I asked if he really did that. He said he turned the ringer down. I laughed. He told me that he was afraid I would go “all praying mantis” on him. I laughed. He told me that he’d heard that sometimes wives need a sounding board. I told him that was true, but that he was a wall. Then I apologized. Then I apologized again. Then I wasn’t mad anymore and could go to sleep. Then he told me that he loved me. Then I apologized again.

{Ghiradelli Square = the biggest waste of time, and a hike up a really big hill}

This morning he sent me a text that said that he was crazy about me.

{One of my favorite pictures of him}

{His favorite picture of me. We were at a VERY nice restaurant at the pier, I was wearing a little black dress, and I was about to dig in a delicious crab}

I love that man so much. He is more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined….and that’s another thing that I didn’t know before I got married. I didn’t know how amazing it would be. I didn’t have a clue what it would feel like to be loved so selflessly by somebody who sees every part of me, and loves me sometimes despite myself. I didn’t know what it would feel like to be forgiven of all my flaws before I even ask for forgiveness. It’s amazing.