Category Archives: husbands

Red Chairs and Football Season

Just in case you’re curious…I’m writing this post from the upstairs guest bedroom. I typically write it on my couch, the light beige one, to be exact. Tonight, it’s my favorite red armchair in the guest bedroom. So, why am I writing it from the upstairs guest bedroom? {I say that as if we had a downstairs guest bedroom, we don’t} It’s a long story.

Back when we re-installed internet in our house {I canceled it about 3 months into our marriage because we had this ANCIENT computer that took FOREVER to load a website and we never used it. That’s the same phone call that canceled cable and the next phone call got us satellite. Two years later, we’re right back with Comcast} I digress. Anyways, when I was re-installing internet in our house because I was going to be home with Zoe all day and needed it, I also got the most basic of cable packages because I would get a discount for a “bundle”, even though we’d never use the cable because we had satellite, obviously. I mentioned it to Brad at the time, and it’s been posted on our bill for the last year…but somehow, he didn’t exactly put 2 and 2 together that we had basic channels in the guest bedroom.

I’m not one of those people who like to have a TV in every room, in fact, I’m pretty against it. We have a flat screen downstairs, and we have Brad’s ancient ancient TV in our room. By ancient I mean it weighs 1,000 lbs and is approximately 10 years old. Maybe older. Actually, it’s more like 13 or 14 years old. It’s practically the brontosaurus of TVs. Oh, and to top it off, the remote that goes to the TV is on that list of “things the dog {Hemmi} at the first year he was with us”, so…it’s all manual, baby. Anyways, I’ve asked Brad a couple times to move the TV to the guest bedroom, because it’s so massive and it’s a decorating NIGHTMARE, but because we occasionaly watch it, it stayed.

Well, then we did a month without TV during football season and my poor husband about lost.his.mind. Honestly? I really like not having a TV. Sure, I miss my Regis, and I really miss Kelly…but, I don’t miss getting sucked in to watching TV all day long. We don’t get sucked in to watching shows all evening long. We read. We talk. I blog. We watch the shows that we really want to on the internet {gasp}. It’s been good.

But, then LSU was playing Alabama in THE GAME OF THE CENTURY…and Brad practically threatened to take our daughter to a sports bar after her bedtime in order to watch it. I was totally in agreement of keeping her up past bedtime due to DST, but more in favor of the location being his mom’s house rather than a bar…if you know what I mean. {for the record, Brad would never take our daughter to an actual bar…not even for a football game…and you know how much he loves football} That might have been about the time that I casually reminded him that we have basic cable in the guest room. To say he was flabbergasted is an understatement. He’d gone four weekends without it and I was JUST NOW?!?!?!?!?! telling him about this? Ah…wives. Wives and their silly “forgetfulness” 😉

Brad went off to the Gator game, picked up Zoe at his mom’s house and hung out to watch the first part of the game. Zoe made it to about half time and then needed to come home. By the time that I got home from my sister’s shower, my husband was in the guest bedroom with the TV rigged up and sitting cock-eyed in our armchair with the game on. So, because I couldn’t handle the crookedness of the TV, tonight we re-arranged the room, put it on a TV stand, lost internet for about 30 minutes, both got a little bit really huffy, fixed the internet, calmed down, and now he’s watching his beloved Sunday night football game from the comfort of the guest bed while I blog away in the red chair right next to him.

It’s a pretty adventurous life we live.

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A post, and some honeymoon pictures

{2 years ago Brad and I were having the time of our lives on our honeymoon. Today’s pictures are from that week.}
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Before I got married I had no clue what it meant. I mean, I knew that you get to do the hibbity dibbity, that you live with the same guy for the rest of your life, that you have a {hopefully} built in best friend for the rest of your life, and that it was going to be hard work but it would be worth it. I had no idea what that “work” would look like. I had no idea what living life with a guy meant. I had no clue…I just knew that we would figure it out, and that I had to marry Brad. And, let’s be honest, I was really just interested in the hibbity dibbity.

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I heard, somewhere, that your husband will never be your best girlfriend. That, yes, he can most definitely be your best friend, but he will never be a girlfriend…and don’t try to make him one. Well, that’s great. But, what they don’t say is that guys sometimes stink at conversations, especially those conversations where a girl needs a sounding board….and not a wall. I’m wrong. I know I’m wrong. I heard that before I got married too. I just wasn’t ready for it. I heard that guys are different. I heard that they see a problem and they just try to fix it. I heard that sometimes they just don’t know what to say, so they say nothing. I heard that it would be frustrating….I had no idea how frustrating it would be.

{Yosemite National Park…one of my dreams come true}
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{If you look close, you’ll see that I’m wearing a jacket because it’s cold…and flip flops}
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Last night I was driving home and I called Brad to let him know I was on my way. He knew by the tone in my voice I wasn’t ok. He asked me to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about it because I knew that I wouldn’t get the response that I needed. But, he asked, and I had to give him a fair shot…right? So, I unloaded….everything. Every emotion that I will never be able to talk about or express to anybody else except for my husband, I talked about. I was yelling, I was cussing, I was crying….I was a hot mess. And do you know what I got in response?

**crickets**

Oh Lord have mercy, if that didn’t send me over the edge. I had to get off the phone before I started yelling at him. I wanted him to defend me. I wanted him to validate what I was going through. I wanted him to say something. And I got crickets. I spent the rest of the drive home fuming, using precious energy that should have been directed at the situation and instead was directed at my husband. The truth? I was looking for a fight. There’s probably nothing that Brad could’ve said that would’ve satisfied me on the phone. Any little mistake that he made on his end would have been cause for me to pick a fight. And the way my emotions were rolling, screw the mountain, I was about to make that molehill into World War III. I bet nobody told Brad that would come with marriage…. 😉

{Checking another baseball field off Brad’s bucket list…the reason we chose San Francisco instead of Lake Tahoe}
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{I was wearing 3 layers of clothes and I was FREEZING}
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The drive was long enough that by the time I got home I knew {logically} that I was mad at Brad for something that wasn’t his fault. I knew {logically} that I was deflecting my emotions onto him. I knew {logically} that while it was true that we probably need to work on communication, and expectations in conversations, that wasn’t what I was mad about, and that it didn’t need to be addressed that night. But did I care? No. Did that stop me from being so ticked off that I couldn’t see straight? No. Did I still want a fight when I walked in the door? Yes. Would that have been fair? No.

{Napa Valley. Amazing.}
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{At the castle winery}
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So, I didn’t fight. I sat on the couch, fuming, crying, and fighting this massive fight in my brain with myself trying to talk myself out of being mad at my husband. The fun thing was that he knew the whole time what was going on. Typically, he’s clueless as to what’s going on when I’m upset about something. But this time, he knew on the phone that he wasn’t saying what I needed. I tried desperately to not take my anger out on him. I tried desperately to get back to neutral. He tried desperately to help me get there. I told him I wasn’t “really really” mad at him, that I was just looking for a fight. He told me he knew that. I told him that I wanted to call him back on the drive home and just let loose. He told me he knew that and that’s why he turned his phone off. I asked if he really did that. He said he turned the ringer down. I laughed. He told me that he was afraid I would go “all praying mantis” on him. I laughed. He told me that he’d heard that sometimes wives need a sounding board. I told him that was true, but that he was a wall. Then I apologized. Then I apologized again. Then I wasn’t mad anymore and could go to sleep. Then he told me that he loved me. Then I apologized again.

{Ghiradelli Square = the biggest waste of time, and a hike up a really big hill}
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This morning he sent me a text that said that he was crazy about me.

{One of my favorite pictures of him}
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{His favorite picture of me. We were at a VERY nice restaurant at the pier, I was wearing a little black dress, and I was about to dig in a delicious crab}
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I love that man so much. He is more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined….and that’s another thing that I didn’t know before I got married. I didn’t know how amazing it would be. I didn’t have a clue what it would feel like to be loved so selflessly by somebody who sees every part of me, and loves me sometimes despite myself. I didn’t know what it would feel like to be forgiven of all my flaws before I even ask for forgiveness. It’s amazing.