Category Archives: beauty

Does my butt look big?

**Just a quick note: I realize that I unintentionally left a few of you hanging yesterday. To my knowledge I am not pregnant. I’m just in a constant state of paranoia that I am, so I like to take pregnancy tests whenever they’re available. For example, because I have to go get blood work for my thyroid I asked her to just do a quick little pregnancy test on my blood too. See, I’m psychotic.**

Tuesday night was a pretty rough night for me. I was tired. I was sore. I’d pushed myself hard at the gym two days in a row and I was paying for it…big time. We put Zoe down at about 8:45 and I went to just lay on my bed. Brad came in and sat beside me because he didn’t have a clue what was going on with me. I started crying…no reason, just crying, and just started at him. That poor, poor man. Finally I blurted out, “I mean, has my body changed AT ALL?” Dead silence. I stared him down. He mumbled and fumbled around and then said, “Well, your hips.” That threw me for a loop. I thought maybe he would say my biceps or something. But, “My hips? My hips? You think my hips are skinnier?” At that point he was laying down on the bed and he held his hands up like way more than shoulder width apart and started talking. I just shrieked, “ARE MY HIPS REALLY THAT BIG?!?!?!?!” A look of panic flashed across his face and he started talking and motioning and mumbling all at the same time, “No! I didn’t mean that! No! I was trying to motion, shape! There’s shape.” I suggest the word “toned”, he says “YES! TONED! Your hips are more TONED!” And then I laughed. Hard.

It was completely unfair to ever ask Brad that question, because, let’s be honest, he never stood a chance. What guy does, really? It’s like quicksand. But still, as a woman, I feel compelled to ask…I guess he’ll have to live with it the rest of his life. On a serious note, one of the reasons that I’m motivated to lose weight is to look “good” for my husband. I mean, isn’t that what every wife wants? I guess probably not. But, I want to know that I can turn his head. He’s told me on numerous occasions that I don’t have to lose weight for him. It’s really freeing. It makes me want to even more, not even in a reverse psychology kinda way, but a really good, healthy way. He loves me just the way I am. He loves looking at me, just the way I am. Isn’t that awesome? You wanna know what one of my very favorite things about Brad is? He tells me that I’m beautiful when I’m wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt, when my hair is all kinds of crazy and Zoe just spit her food all over me. He also tells me I’m beautiful when I get all dolled up for a night out. It’s good for a girls heart to have that kind of balance.

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Papa-paparazzi

First off…this is totally unrelated to this post, but I’m absolutely freaking out excited over here. Today, after lunch, Zoe and I took a trip to Publix {mostly to fill in the gap between lunch and naptime b/c somebody decided to skip her morning nap today so we were a little bit cranky and needed some distraction}. We were in the deli section getting our Diet Coke and cup lids when I saw this lady approach me from the corner of my eye. She asked me if my name was Rebecca, and, of course, I said yes. Then she told me her name and that she recognized me from my blog. SHE RECOGNIZED ME FROM MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy.Freakin.Crap. ya’ll! We talked for a minute or two, she “oohed and aahed” over Zoe, and we went our separate ways. And then I called like 5 people in a row and NOBODY ANSWERED THEIR PHONE!!!! Why does nobody answer their phones when I’m freaking out with excitement?!?! Ugh. Anyways…how cool is that?!?! It’s my first public encounter with a blog reader! Awesome!

Ok, so now I have to find a way to get Lady Gaga’s song out of my head because I’ve been singing it since last night when I knew that I was going to write this post. It is a total coincidence that I’m writing this the same day that we were noticed in public. Yesterday the paparazzi showed up at our house around dinner time. They followed Zoe around for about 30 minutes, which is an eternity in the life of a baby. At final count, there were 104 snapshots of Little Miss Zoe Grace.

Zoe was spotted eating some spaghetti. She was wearing nothing but spaghetti sauce, a diaper, and carrying a green frog bib.

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She tried to act surprised, and then she just tried to ignore them.

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When they wouldn’t go away she decided to oblige them with a pose..

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or two…

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They caught a shot that looked like Zoe had been partying all night long…

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Her manager told her that if the paparazzi find you in a compromising pose to create a bigger spectacle by trying to take their cameras away.

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When that didn’t succeed she called her entourage over to take her to her next event.

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A true celebrity doesn’t even have to walk. They’re carried.

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And every good member of a celebrities entourage knows to keep their face hidden so that no attention is taken away from the celebrity themselves.

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Zoe followed dinner up with a trip to one of her favorite places to relax, The Kitchen Sink Resort and Spa. Her preferred spa treatment comes courtesy with warm, soapy water, and lots of bubbles…just like she likes it. Apparently, when you’re the star of the show, you don’t even have to wash yourself…somebody does that for you!

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Sporting this summer’s new look, Zoe wore her diaper in the bath.

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The cover shot for her next song, “Baby, Baby, Baby…oh!”

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Here at the Kitchen Sink Resort and Spa, you get hosed off, free of charge.

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After a nice time of pampering and relaxation, Zoe was spotted at a local dance club, a.k.a Dicso H, dancing the night away.

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Apparently Zoe has some gangster in her…

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She finally said, “Enough is enough!” And went upstairs to go to bed. After all, it takes a lot of work to look this good.

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Seriously though, I’m totally guilty of photographing my daughter as if I was a member of the paparazzi and she were an A-List celebrity. Does anybody else take a ridiculous amount of pictures of their children?