Who knew Poptarts could make me blush?

Before I go any further in this post you need to know 2 things:

1) I absolutely love Zoe’s pediatricians. I think they’re amazing and one of the friendliest doctors offices I’ve ever visited.
2) Zoe’s pediatricians are granola pediatricians.

Yesterday Zoe had her 15 month check-up. We booked the earliest appointment so that we wouldn’t be left hanging for over an hour {as we’ve definitely learned the hard way}, but that meant that we had to be at the office at 8:30. For some glorious reason, I had the best night of sleep I’ve had in over a month and I didn’t open my eyes until 7:30….30 minutes later than needed to get up, get myself together, get Zoe up, both of us dressed, both of us fed, and out the door presentable by 8:10. Oh…and? I took a shower right before bed last night, which means that my hair is a crazy mess when I wake up in the morning and it is an absolute necessity to straighten it…a 15 minute process. One of the last things that Brad said to me as he was walking out the door is, “I left a Poptart for Zoe. I know that she shouldn’t eat it, but I don’t think we have any other options for breakfast at this point. I wanted to have it, but I’m going to leave it for her.” I said, “There is no way that I’m giving Zoe a Poptart before we go to these granola pediatricians. Can you even imagine? Besides, I am not giving my 15 month old a Poptart even if we weren’t going! Thanks though. Love you!!!” And off he went to work. I finished getting us dressed, threw a Greek yogurt and a banana into my diaper bag and then as an afterthought threw the Poptart into the bag for myself because I’d had no breakfast, didn’t have time to make a shake, and thought…if my stomach starts to growl, it would be nice to have an option.

For the record, I very seldom eat Poptarts. Brad likes them for work and so we have them in our house. I like the S’mores one…so if we have that I’ll have them. But, otherwise, they are a last choice.

We get to Zoe’s appt early so that I can feed her the Greek yogurt like a good mom and then we go on in to get all set up. As the nurse is bringing us into the room and doing the pre-req stuff, Zoe walks over to the bag and digs through until she finds the banana then brings it to me to eat. The nurse was shocked that she was able to do that, and I told her that she does it all the time. Then Zoe brought over her snacky foods {Wheat thins and Ritz crackers} and I told her to go put it back because I didn’t want another lecture from the drs. Katie {the nurse} laughed and said that the nurses all get the same lectures from the drs that we get. I told her that Brad suggested that I give Zoe a Poptart for breakfast and I told him there was no way that I was doing that before an appt with the granola pediatricians. She laughed some more. I told her that I get a lecture every time I come and she said that she can’t eat fries in the office because the drs tell her about the trans fat and preservatives. I told her to tell them that she was exercising her rights as an American citizen. She laughed and said that she just tells them that she’s going to work it off on the treadmill. It was a great, light, “I’m in this with you” conversation.

Let me put this in perspective for you. On occasion, Zoe has brought out her snacks {which are processed foods that probably have preservatives in them and all different types of dyes} and I have been the recipient of a very nice lecture on how if I don’t make it, my child shouldn’t eat it. I can’t tell you how many times the words “Native Sun” and “Whole Foods” have been used in conversation there. Those are two local organic stores. I’ve been told {nicely} that carby snacks, such as Cheez-its do nothing good for my daughter, and only waste calories and put preservatives in her body. For the most part, I really just smile and say “Oh! ok!” and then go about my business. I don’t tell them that it’s 2011, and processed foods are just part of the deal unless you live on a farm or are devoted to the organic movement. I am, if you haven’t guessed already, decidedly not devoted to the organic movement. I have nothing against health food as long as it still tastes good. A bean sprout sandwich, in my opinion, does not taste good.

Katie left and Dr. C came in and started with the “How’s it going? Any Concern?” chat. I told her that I would like to talk about development and some ideas for discipline. Meanwhile, my darling Zoe was back at the diaper bag searching its every nook and cranny. Before I even knew what was happening she was walking towards me, arms outstretched, handing me a nice shiny package, saying, “Mama!” and the sign for “eat”. I was mortified. I told her no and to put them back in the bag. Dr. C got kinda quiet. Zoe got pretty demanding. I turned all different shades of red and then clarified with the doctor that my child has never eaten a Poptart. Zoe was still demanding to eat it. I told her it was mommy’s and to put it back…meanwhile, I’m literally squirming in my seat. Then Dr. C starts talking about an organic option for a Poptart and how mommy shouldn’t be eating them either because of all the trans fats in them, and how Zoe’s going to want to eat whatever I eat.

Oh, I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to tell her that I never really had any intention of eating them anyways…it was just a backup plan. And that I don’t really eat Poptarts anyways. And my child eats fruits and vegetables at every meal {or at least has the option to}. Oh.my.word. I mean, ya’ll know me. You know how laid back I am. I don’t really get embarrassed by kid stuff. I don’t apologize for meltdowns in stores. I don’t get embarrassed if Zoe has an accident and it winds up on me. I don’t think twice if Zoe smears stuff on my shirt and I still have to run errands. Those are kid things. But a Poptart? That brought me to my knees.

If Ritz crackers are bad to these people, Poptarts are the devil’s food.


One response to “Who knew Poptarts could make me blush?

  1. This cracked me up so much! šŸ™‚

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