Oh my Darling

Oh my Darling Zoe. You fill me with such delight. Your laugh. Your squeal. Your creativity. Your zest for life. The way take off your diaper at naptime and play with your feces…smearing it all over yourself, your toys, and your crib.

Wait.

What?!?!?!

Oh. Yeah. No big deal. That’s just how she “woke up” from her nap on Friday. I use the term “woke up” loosely. Very loosely. See, I don’t think she actually slept. I think she took her diaper off immediately and got to work. In fact, I know she didn’t sleep for the first hour because I could hear her in the monitor laughing and babbling to herself…having a grand ol’ time. Let’s start at the beginning.

Zoe’s first nap of the day was relatively long, almost 2 full hours, although she was awake when I went to get her at 2 hours…so I’m not sure how long the actual nap was. But, nevertheless, at 2pm she went back to her crib for her afternoon nap. At about 3pm I heard strange noises coming from upstairs and I turned on the monitor, we {my friend Laura and I} were greeted by the glorious sound of Zoe babbling and laughing away naptime in her crib. We laughed and continued on our conversation. Jamielynn came over around 3:30 and started chomping at the bit to wake Zoe up from her nap. At 4:05 I told her that she could get her. Zoe, mind you, had only recently actually fallen asleep.

The first thing I heard was Jamielynn exclaim, “Why is she naked?!?!?!” and I started laughing. I had put Zoe down in just her diaper because she’d fed herself spaghetti for lunch and after a rinse off in the sink I just put her diaper back on. I laughed because I thought it was cute. I laughed because I had no idea what was coming next. The next thing I heard was, “Where is her diaper” and then “Oh! Why does she stink?!?!?!” “Oh No!”. By this point I was racing upstairs and Zoe was screaming along with my sister. I wasn’t ready for what greeted me.

I was immediately assaulted by the stench coming from the room. My eyes scanned the disaster area and found a nice round ball of shit poopy-doo in one corner of the bed, a screaming child in the middle, and brown nastiness spread everywhere in the crib. Oh.my.word. Nasty. Just plain nasty. Honestly, 9 times out of 10 I can laugh in those situations…but I didn’t think I was even able to muster up a laugh, all I could do was act on instinct and race her to the bathtub and scrub as hard as I gently could {if that makes any sense}. I couldn’t shake the mental image of her playing {and me hearing and laughing at her playing} in her poop. I still can’t shake it.

If you need me, I’ll be in Zoe’s nursery with a gallon of Chlorox, a container of Lysol wipes and washing everything in sight.

And if you’re laughing it’s only because it didn’t happen to you. πŸ™‚

Oh, and just in case you’re completely disgusted and need something to divert your attention after reading this lovely story…might I suggest that you watch this video? You’ll love it…I promise.

Wait. Actually, I couldn’t help myself…there’s 3 videos, the best one is the last one.

{This one is just for fun}

{My video camera died while taking this clip…so that’s why it cuts off at the end}

{And now what we’ve all been waiting for….you’ll know immediately my favorite part of this clip…it’s Brad’s face. But also? Notice how Zoe DOES NOT want to walk :-)}

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10 responses to “Oh my Darling

  1. No, you were wrong! I’m laughing because that HAS happened to us πŸ™‚ We walked in to her room & heard, “Daddy, I’m painting with my poopy!”. Yep, you learn quickly they need clothes on to keep the diaper on!

  2. Holy nelly. i can’t even imagine, even though something tells me it’s totally something my Zoey would do. πŸ™‚ and I love how Zoe was doing everything possible to keep her feet off the floor in the last video.

  3. aw, Brad’s face is priceless in that last clip! That’s so cute!

  4. At this stage onesies are definitely nice πŸ˜‰ Although, I have only had 1 episode of poop painting and that was ironically when I was on the phone with my friend whose daughter had just played in (and hid) some of her poop under the dining room table. These kids get vibes! Kaylee found herself unable to nap with only her diaper on for quite a while, lol.

  5. I definitely backed up the last video three times to watch Brad’s reaction again. Totally made me cry. I love your “oh my god!” response. So precious. Love your little family.

  6. ROFLMAO!!! Only you Rebecca could make a “poopy” blog so amazingly hilarious! Loved ALL the videos! The Gator Chomp is beyond cute…just like the “chomper!” Ha! Kudos to Daddy! Great job on teaching her that! Now, her next words need to be…”Go Gators!” lol! I cried when I saw her take her first steps and Brad’s reaction. AWESOME! Love you guys..

  7. Okay. SO I have to tell you, I saved this in my favorites bar because I opened it from my reader and then had to go tend to a crying baby or something. In any case, I didn’t want to miss reading it, so I moved it to my favs and walked away. And forgot about it. Today I was scanning my favorites bar, looking for something or another and then I saw this post. I…have…no…words……………and I’d be lying if I said I’m not laughing very nervously over here. I’m terrified of this happening to me but it’s funny when it happens to others. I hope you don’t mind but I’m putting this in my weekly roundup.

  8. Pingback: Weekly Roundup and weekend recap | Living Like the Kings

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