Wanna know what really trips my trigger?

Good! Because I need to get this off my chest. Yesterday I ran into Publix after the gym. I was having a friend over for lunch and I needed to pick up a few thing. Now, if you’re like me, after you workout {especially after you work out} you want to eat healthy. I was going to make chicken salad {yum!} and because my friend was bringing cucumbers from her garden I decided to make cucumber sandwiches {my friend Kristin just made some and they were DELICIOUS!!! So I thought I’d try.} But then I didn’t know what to get for a side! Chips? No, they’re not healthy. Grapes for the chicken salad? No, they’re $6. Holy crap grapes are $6!?!?! Diet Coke? No, I’m cutting back. Cookies? No…totally not post workout food. {Wait, so then how did they end up in my cart? I have no answer for you} Around and around the grocery store I walked, completely indecisive.

So, I get to the register and the lady there asks me if I found everything ok. Well, normally I say yes, because I did. This time, I told her that once I made up my mind I did. But I just worked out so I was hungry but wanted to make good choices, so I had to make a few trips around the store. I was putting my groceries on the conveyor belt and when I finished talking I looked up to see this woman, WHO JUST ASKED ME A QUESTION, looking at me with this look that conveyed, “Why the hell are you talking to me?” Now, I wasn’t going on and on and on about my shopping experience in her store. I was just answering a question THAT SHE ASKED in one sentence instead of one word.

Ugh.

So, this brings me to my vent. {I know 376 words later I’m finally telling you what ticks me off.} Don’t ask a question if you have no interest in the answer!!!!! If you don’t care how my day is THAT’S FINE, I am perfectly ok with that. You don’t have to care how my day is going. It’s not required of you as a citizen on this planet. When you ask a question you are conveying the impression that you care. If you don’t care, DON’T ASK. It’s not rocket science people. You know those times when you see somebody and you say, “Hey! How’re you doing?” AS YOU CONTINUE TO WALK BY THEM! Just say “hey!”…it works just the same. Actually, it works better.

Trust me, there have been many times when there’s been awkward silences because I haven’t offered the expected niceties of polite conversation. In my opinion, there’s a type of polite that applies to having good manners {which is perfectly acceptable} and there’s a type of polite that is dirty, insincere, and empty. I refuse to have that type of polite in my life. If you’re wondering, I don’t do small talk very well. Actually, I almost avoid it at all costs. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy light conversation. I do. But, those conversations that go: “Great to see you! How’re you doing?” “Oh, good, good. How’re you?” “I”m good” “Yeah? You look like you’re losing weight” “Really?!?! I think I put on weight?” “No, you definitely look like you’re losing.” “Oh, well thanks! Must be the shirt.” “Well, it was great running into you” “Yeah, you too…find me on Facebook, we should catch up” Good Lord. Gag me.

On the other hand. If you are answering a question such as, “How are you doing?” and that question comes from a friend, a person you know you can trust, don’t answer “fine” when your world is falling apart. You’re NOT FINE and, in all honestly, that’s called lying. I think I hate this more than the insincere question. Look, I’m asking because I care, not because I want to see one more person who has it all together. Last time I checked, nobody has it all together…and the people who say they do ARE LYING TO YOU. Why do we wear masks like that? Why do we shield ourselves from people around us? Because of fear? Fear of what? Fear of rejection? Fear of not being good enough? Fear of not being perfect? Fear of falling off that pedestal you’re so precariously balancing on? {You weren’t created to ever BE on a pedestal. The only person who can stand the test of time on a pedestal is Jesus.} I’m not saying that we need to tell everything to everybody, but we can darn sure still be honest in our responses, can’t we?

Am I being too harsh? I’m sorry. If you need a break from my diatribe go read Gentle Yoga again, or watch the video at the end of yesterday’s post.

I think the reason that this irks me more than anything is because, not only is it lying, but it creates barriers between us and the rest of the world. It’s as if we all live inside our own little white picket fences, placed within a beautiful subdivision of white picket fences, which lies inside a gated community of white picket fences, that borders another gated community, that has their own subdivisions of white picket fences. Occasionally, we open up our tiny gate to let our very closet neighbors into our perfectly manicured lawn to reveal the fact that behind the closed front door our kitchen is a mess, the living room is pretty tidy, and the master bedroom looks like nobody’s slept there in a month {if you know what I mean}.

It’s completely absurd. We weren’t meant to live like that. If life is anything it is messy. And you probably don’t have to look any further than the walls of your own house to figure that one out. It’s also beautiful. And fun. Sometimes it’s downright hard. But, most importantly, it’s best enjoyed with others. So, throw the gate open to your little picket fence, open the doors to your life and let some light in. It’s hard, it’s scary, and you could get hurt, but it is totally, totally worth it. I promise. Because, do you know what the payoff is for being honest with people is? You realize you’re not alone. And that’s a mighty big payoff.

So, there you have it. That is probably my biggest pet peeve ever. Runner up is windshield wipers that don’t go the speed of the rain, or worse, are still on when the rain stops and people who leave their blinkers on after they’ve already switched lanes or turned.

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9 responses to “Wanna know what really trips my trigger?

  1. . . . and people who don’t use blinkers at all! Thanks for the honesty. I’m so glad I found your blog.

  2. I like what you said and agree with you completely. Don’t ask if you aren’t willing to listen.

  3. AMEN! I feel the exact…same…way! I started paying attention to this in high school after reading Catcher in the Rye (the protagonist always accuses adult of being hypocrites and “phonies”, referencing this exact scenario). I really don’t understand it. The society’s definition of “polite” is so twisted. I’m with you 100%, glad to read this!!

    Side note: My car actually has a little chime if I leave my blinkers too long lol!

  4. I know what you mean…I sometimes go through a completely different answer in my head before telling someone, “ok” or “fine” or whatever because I know that they do NOT want to hear the real answer which is, my kid hasn’t pooped in 10 days and although she doesn’t seem to be screaming or crying, i think she’s in pain and this bothers me. Although not as much as the thought that I’m consumed by thoughts about poop. aren’t ya glad ya posted this 😉

  5. Love your blog! And so glad to have finally met you. I promise never to ask you how you are…unless i really want to hear it 🙂

    • hahaha! And I promise to always tell you the truth =) It was really great putting a face with the name I’ve heard so much about!

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