Kinda a little bit like Groundhog Day

So…you’re not going to believe this. But I’ve never seen the movie Groundhog Day. I know. I grew up under a rock. That’s actually true, to an extent. I also didn’t know who The Beatles were until college, and didn’t watch Star Wars til I was 24. I would fail miserably at any pop culture quiz you threw my way. But, to the best of my knowledge, my life resembles the movie Groundhog Day. Every day we wake up at 7, Brad gets Zoe, she nurses, he leaves for work, we come downstairs and play for a bit, I might turn on the Today show, Zoe eats breakfast, we watch Regis and Kelly, Zoe plays, we read a book, Zoe takes a bottle, Zoe takes a nap from 10-11/11:30-ish, we play some more, I read blogs, now it’s lunch time. {If I’m really on top of things or just bored to tears we go to Target and walk around for a while} If we go out we’re home by 1:30, if we’re in we just play, 1:45 is time for another bottle, 2 is naptime, Zoe sleeps for 2 hours and I write my blog, Zoe wakes up, we watch Ellen or the Oprah show, I do the dishes, Brad comes home, he feeds Zoe, I piddlefart around, we eat dinner, Brad does bath time, I do the last nursing, we kiss Zoe goodnight, we pray, we come downstairs, sit on the couch and watch tv for the next 2-3 hours until bedtime, we go to bed and talk, fall asleep, wake up at 7, Brad gets Zoe, I nurse her, he goes to work, we come downstairs….

Kinda a little bit like Groundhog Day….except for in real life. My life.

I know it comes with the territory. I know that it’s a “stage”. I know that this will pass. I’m told that I’ll look back on these days with fondness. I’m not too sure I believe that statement. I’m 100% positive that I will look back on Zoe at this age with fondness. But I’m not too sure that I could ever look back on this stage of day after day boredom and think….”wow, I just really wish that I could go back there. I wish I could be that bored again.”

Here’s the real deal. The thing that’s under the surface of all of this. I didn’t realize that this stage would use every single one of my weaknesses and very little of my strengths. I am an extrovert. On a scale of 0-100 I’m probably a solid 80/85. I didn’t rank myself in the 90’s because I do {occasionally} need some time to myself. So, I am an extrovert who for the past 10 months has lived a solitary life 40 hours a week with maybe a few hours of interruption. Another personality trait, I am not a self motivator. It’s almost like I have absolutely no motivation at all if I’m not around somebody else. I don’t clean. I forget to eat lunch. I don’t do the things on my list that I want to do. It’s frustrating, but it’s a personality trait I’ve always had. I am a people person to my core. What else? I don’t do well with monotony. Do you know how much monotony drives me crazy? Let’s DO something! Let’s shake things up a bit! I thrive on spontaneity….in doses. {I’m probably like a 75 on the spontaneity scale} Guess what this stage brings? Guess…just guess. Monotony. Kinda a little bit like Groundhog Day.

And, if what you’re thinking right now is, “Rebecca, it’s just a stage. This will pass!” Again, I know. I know it’s just a stage. I know that in just a little bit I’ll be chasing kids around and so tired at the end of the day that I can’t see straight. I know. I know. I know. But GOD!!!!!!!! This shit sucks. This day to day monotony is for the birds. Honestly. It is. Some people really thrive…I’m just not one of them.

So, there you have it. I’m learning. I’m learning a little bit every day. I’m aware of the struggle. It doesn’t mean that the struggle goes away…it just means that I’m aware of it. I have my Thursdays where I’m at church in the morning, and playdates in the afternoon. I have a zoo pass now. {thanks Mom and Dad!} We have the dog park. And now that it’s summer we have the pool and the beach {however, we only have 3 hours in between morning and afternoon naps, so I have to be on top of things logistically} I have my friend Courtenay who lives just around the corner and we go for walks. I’m thinking about joining a moms group. I’m trying desperately to not count down the days til Zoe is like 2 and an age when we can really DO stuff….

Advertisements

7 responses to “Kinda a little bit like Groundhog Day

  1. Sure, this is just a stage. But you will have countless stages that will drive you insane. You will have countless stages that you adore. And just as soon as you think, “O.k., I’ve finally got a handle on this stage. I can deal with this now.” That stage will be over and a new one will be thrusted onto your lap. Stages not just with your baby and what she can and can’t do but stages of how it effects your marriage, stages of how it effects your other relationships, stages of how you relate to your friends and even family, stages of how your view your life and life in general. There is one thing about having kids, it changes everything forever. I wish I could tell you that in 1-2 years your life will begin to resemble your former life again, I would be lying. I can say that every stage has a positive and every stage has a negative- I have simultaneously enjoyed every stage and hated every stage with each of my kids. I truly believe God shakes this stuff up so we don’t rely on our strengths but on his. Even parents of adult kids are still facing a stage – learning to be parents to adults! The most important thing for me has been to find God for myself in each of those stages. What am I to learn during a particular stage. At any rate, that alone will keep us on our toes. Love you and you are a wonderful mom!

  2. 1) I just saw Groundhog Day this past year, so don’t feel too bad. I was told it was a “dark comedy” that I wouldn’t like…all lies! 🙂
    2) I think Matt still hasn’t seen all the Star Wars movies…for shame.
    3) As different as we are, there are some things that are SO similar. Example: Preference for being around people and lack of self-motivation. I can’t imagine what mothering will be like, especially staying at home. But I feel you’ve given a pretty good picture of what I’ll feel like during this particular stage.

    Switching gears, I will say that even though this stage is boring you to tears, I would love to hear what Zoe would say if I asked her about her days. She gets to spend the whole day with Mommy, playing, napping, eating…repeat. What a blessing to your little girl!!! Most moms wished they had that time (although absolutely BORING) to see their babies learn to crawl, roll over, feed themselves (at least, attempt to). It’s these little milestones that most mothers never see that you’ll be able to reflect back and say to Zoe, “oh, I remember that day like it was yesterday…”. You’ve learned so much about her personality, her preferences, her progress…you’ve become a Zoe expert!

    Keep you’re chin up, girl. Groundhog’s Day, like every day, eventually comes to an end. A lesson can be learned from that movie…with seemingly endless chances at living a single day (in your case, the same routine every day), what changes would you make today? How could you greet people differently? What is God showing/teaching you right now, on this day? The great thing about that movie is it helps you reflect on yesterday in order to make good use of today.

    Ok, enough rambling. I love you and hope that I can be a fraction of the loving mother you’ve become! 😀

  3. I would LOVE to be able to stay home with Zoey all day. Instead, I have to go to work and pretty much rely on secondhand versions of events from my Mom when Zoey does funny or amazing things (Mom babysits Zoey every day). It sucks so much and I wish Greg and I had enough income that I could be a stay-at-home mom. I know it must be frustrating sometimes for you, but just know to some people, you’re lucky.

    • I know. I felt very much like this post was a “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” type of post. Which, typically, I never take that approach to life. I hope one day you get to stay at home with your Zoey and that you love every single minute of it =)

  4. Pingback: Yesterday’s solution to Boredom | Confessions of a Reluctant Housewife

  5. Pingback: I can not believe | Confessions of a Reluctant Housewife

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s