Chores! Oh, chores!

{Disclaimer: The pictures in this post have absolutely nothing to do with the post itself. I just needed pictures, and we were at a wedding this weekend. So…that’s what you get.}

Have you ever read Where the Sidewalk ends? Or A Light in the Attic? I grew up reading the poems in those books. One of them has a poem called “Homework!” and every so often when I really don’t like something that I’m doing, I recite the first two lines to myself. Today, as I was writing this post, I could think of nothing more fitting than to replace “homework” with “chores”.

Chores! Oh, chores!
I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you away in the sink,
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits.
Chores! Oh, chores!
You’re giving me fits.

I’d rather take baths
with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion
alone in the dark,
eat spinach and liver,
pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the chores,
this house assigns.

Chores! Oh, chores!
you’re last on my list,
I simple can’t see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeared
it would tickle me pink.
Chores! Oh, chores!
I hate you! You stink!

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Here’s the list of stuff that has to get done around this house:

-vacuum {like 50,000x/week because Zoe puts EVERYTHING in her mouth, the dogs bring crap in, and we have a ridiculous amount of animals in a small area and those animals shed…a lot.}
-dust {due to the ridiculous amount of animals this house has more dust in it than I’ve ever seen}
-dishes
-bathe both dogs
-make it to where we can see the counter tops again
-make it to where we can see the table again
-baseboards {again with the animals….}
-sweep the floors
-laundry
-bathrooms
-clean Zoe’s room
-clean our room

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Here’s the list of what I got done yesterday:

-nothing
-not a damn darn thing
-zilch
-and in honor of cinco de mayo…nada

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I honestly can’t even tell you what I did yesterday. Typically, if I don’t do anything…and by anything, again, I mean anything…I can at least tell you what I did instead. Like, Zoe and I were running around town from appointment to appointment. Or, we just played together all day long. Or, we went to the beach. Something. Anything. Some type of excuse as to why the dishes weren’t at least done when Brad got home. Even on the laziest of days I attempt to get the dishes done because it’s Brad’s most hated of all chores and if I don’t do it before he gets home then I lost my opportunity to serve him. Anyways, back to yesterday, I can’t even tell you what I did instead. Zoe and I were here all day. We played in her room for about an hour after her first nap. I attempted {and Zoe sabotaged my attempt} to watch The King’s Speech. And I remember that the computer was open for a large portion of the day, so I was probably haphazardly reading blogs…but gosh, I feel like I should have at least SOME excuse for the state of the house. But, honestly, I really have no motivation whatsoever to clean, other than the fact that my house may or may not implode on me if I don’t. And I feel guilty if I just sit around the house for days on end while Brad gets up and goes to work every morning. I’m so not good at this “housewife” thing. Yuck.

Maybe it was my guilty conscious that went into overdrive because here’s what I did today:

-vacuumed the whole house
-dishes
-cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom
-cleaned the living room
-took both dogs to the dog park
-bathed both dogs
-bought and hung up curtains in Zoe’s room {finally!!!!}
-did 2 loads of laundry
-cleaned 2 out of 3 toilets
-cleaned off the countertops
-cleaned out diaper bags, restocked, streamlined
-mostly cleaned off the table
-laid down in bed to rest my back from all that hard work
-thought about dusting
-thought some more about dusting
-fell asleep for 1 hour until Brad came home

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And, just in case anybody’s wondering….Brad is currently outside mowing the grass, listening to his iPod and singing along at the top of his lungs. It’s one of the things that I love so much about that guy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some more relaxing to do. Not really. I kinda lied when I said that I already “hung up” the curtains in Zoe’s room. They’re sitting on the floor waiting to be hung up. I figured that I would do it later today…which happens to be right now. So, here we go with the hammer, nails, and level again….yuck.

How do you manage chores in your house? Any great ideas to help me stay on top of things around this joint?

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One response to “Chores! Oh, chores!

  1. ROFL…. That is about all. Welcome to mothering. Come visit us and see the mess of 5…..

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