Rambling Rebecca

When I worked at camp we used to play this game called “Action Annie”. Basically you get a whole group of people to stand in a circle, each person says their name with an action in front of it while simultaneously doing that action. I was always “Rowdy Rebecca” or “Boisterous Bekah”. The group then says that persons name and does the action. It’s a great way to learn names, and I’ve played it approximately 345,198 times {not really, but you get the point}. If you and I were standing in a large circle of people that we didn’t know, and that circle was playing “Action Annie”, and we were doing this activity today….I would be “Rambling Rebecca” and my action would be “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah”….

That’s how I feel right now. Like there’s 1,000 different things going through my mind and I don’t know which one to start with, or which one to talk about. I have some pretty deep/heavy things on my mind…like my marriage, struggling with the feeling that I sometimes SUCK as a mother, trying to figure out appropriate boundaries with people in my life, trying to adjust to the shift of identity that motherhood brought to my life, trying to figure out why my stress level is on par with 2008, and struggling with my identity as a housewife, trying to create a passion for this new season in my life. See…heavy stuff. I’m sure that you’ll read blogs about all of that stuff in the weeks to come, because none of those issues are things that just go away. They demand a certain amount of introspection and attention.

And then I have random, stupid, mundane thoughts…like, I haven’t done beachbody in the past 2 weeks. Blah. Why is there so much guilt associated with that statement? I’m almost done creating mulch beds in the backyard. I’m surprised at how cheap it is. Seriously. The backyard is ridiculously hideous. I would love to have a pretty backyard. I would feel so accomplished as a wife/homeowner if I had a pretty backyard. Why does Hemmingway have to ruin it? And how can I fix it with the least amount of money possible and not just pour concrete? I killed my first batch of seeds for the garden, and I think the deluge we experienced a few days ago killed my second batch. Lovely. We’ll have to wait and see though…they might decide to grow.

Brad is watching golf right now. He took the day off of work because there’s a huge tournament this weekend. I borderline hate golf. It’s the one sport that he loves that I just can not stand at all. In my opinion, if there’s anything more boring than fishing it’s watching fishing on tv…and watching golf is right on par with watching fishing. But that’s just my opinion. My husband disagrees, and that is why the Masters is on my tv right now. I would be watching the Kennedy’s mini series that I have DVR’d. I am LOVING that mini series. I’ve never really been too interested in the Kennedy family, as a history major I always kinda kept my distance from them. Mostly because I think they get too much hype because everybody was in love with them. But this mini series is really fascinating. I don’t know how much is true, but it’s making me want to research the whole family. Again, that’s the history major in me.

See…I told you Rambling Rebecca. That’s my name.

I’m also working on several projects around the house. Let me define “working on”….I’ve been thinking about/pricing a few different projects around the house. One is for Zoe’s nursery. Her nursery started very calm, serene…there was no pink, it was a soft green and brown. It’s changed a lot over the past 8 months. Maybe it’s because I’m more at peace with the fact that there’s a nursery in my house, or possibly it’s because I know Zoe a whole lot more than I did when I was planning her nursery. It seems that this chic garden-ey feel has emerged. It’s almost meadow-like. I love it. I really do. But it needs a little bit more. I just took down the canopy due to suffocation hazards, so I’m planning on painting some letters to hang over her crib, and then applying some more decals. The other project that’s currently whirling around in my head is an organizational center downstairs. I’ve already told you that I can’t remember anything. It’s the truth. So I might be turning my dining room into an organization center. Currently, we put bills in a drawer, some in the china cupboard, I have a pocket calendar I occasionally remember to write things down on, and Brad never has a  clue what’s going on because I never have a clue. Honestly, I feel like I need to have 2 separate calendars, one for the day {my playdates, Dr. appts, and lunches} and one for our evenings/weekends. I would also keep my day planner. Now, doesn’t that just sound complicated? It was so much easier when I could just remember stuff!

Ok. Enough. I’m going to stop rambling now. I’m going to sink back into my head and try to figure out the heavy stuff, and mix it up a bit with that random stuff. Then, in about an hour, I’m going to meet my friend Kathryn….and maybe I’ll be able to escape my brain for an hour or two.

So, if you were playing “Action Annie” what would your name be and why?

Happy Friday everybody.

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2 responses to “Rambling Rebecca

  1. You are SO NOT alone with some of the concerns you listed above. I have the exact same thoughts sometimes. My boyfriend is always telling me to slow down, take a deep breath and relax because everything is okay. The baby is healthy and growing–must be doing something right there. Bills are getting paid–Okay. Just take a deep breath. And do like I do–sigh a lot. It really is a good stress reliever. 🙂

  2. Agreed. You are not alone! I often find that when I take a step back and talk to my husband about the things I’m worried about, he can give me better perspective, a more objective view on what I’ve blown WAY out of proportion in my head. Lists help, too; usually I write down everything I can think of to do, and after trying to work my through it for a few days, I throw it out and start over (this is not efficient, but it’s my MO). The really important things will stick around, the unimportant ones will fade away. I hope time with your friend makes you feel a little lighter, too 🙂

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