I’m up WAY past my bedtime

It’s 11:47pm. I should be sleeping right now. My mind is racing and I can’t get it to stop. Literally. I’ve tried all my tricks. Nothing is working.  After laying in bed for over an hour I figured I should just come downstairs and write, maybe then I’ll be able to fall asleep. I am going to pay for this tomorrow. The first 2 hours in the morning are going to be spent wishing that I’d been able to go to sleep on time. Don’t worry…I will squelch the desire for sleep with Diet Coke until I am wide awake. Or at least until 10am when Zoe takes a nap.

Why can’t I sleep? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I took a nap during the first half of the Duke basketball game. Maybe it’s because Brad is passed out snoring in bed… and if I don’t fall asleep before him then it takes a while. Or, maybe it’s because not one, but two…TWO…people asked me to take family photographs for them. Holy friggin’ crap. Two completely different people in ONE DAY asked me if they could hire me, HIRE ME, to do a photo shoot of their family. As in, they want to pay me for my work.


I’m sure I sounded cool, calm and collected when I responded “Um, HECK YES!!! I would LOVE to take pictures of your family”. I’m sure that sounded pretty professional. Right? {Humor me and tell me it did…}

So, since then, my mind has been racing. I can’t concentrate on anything other than my upcoming photo shoots. Shots I want to get, research I need to do, props. Do they want props? What kind of props should I get? One family is just a hubby/wife combo and the other is hubby/wife/18 month old. I think he’s about 18 months. He’s a toddler. How do I shoot a toddler? I know how to do a baby.  What can I do to keep a toddler entertained? I need to do research. Big time. Will they like my ideas? Will I capture their personalities? Will my pictures be good? Do they know that this is one of my dreams? To be a photographer. To capture life on film. To catch that moment, when all is right with the world…or so it seems…and to be able to frame it. Will I be able to do that? Will I look silly as I stand there trying to think of ways to pose them, shots to take? Will my flow…flow? Will I freeze?

Ok…breathe… 1, 2, 3….breathe…

What about editing? Professional photographers EDIT their pictures. I don’t know how to edit to save my life. 99% of the pictures you see on this blog or on my Facebook are “what you see is what you get”. The other 1% is “edited” in Picknik. It’s the tool that Flickr gives you. It doesn’t count as legit editing. I promise you. Photographers know how to use Photoshop. Rebecca, does not. Granted, I’m not too sure they expect edited pictures…but….still, it’s nice to be able to do something in that department. I’ve gotta figure out Gimp. I’ve just got to.

Breathe. Just breathe.

Do you know what means more to me than any part of this? That somebody saw the pictures that I take of Zoe and thought, “She’s good. I wonder if she’ll take our picture.” I don’t care about the “hiring” part. Not at all. Not now. Don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly exciting to think that somebody wants to pay me for my work. But, I’m still too new. Too unsure of myself. Too worried that I’ll take an hours worth of shots and they won’t like any of them. I certainly don’t want them to feel like they threw money down the drain. But still, they had a thought, “I want to get some pictures of my family”….and then they thought of me. That is overwhelming to me. Overwhelming and immensely exciting. I am one happy {and now very tired} lady.

Ok. I had to get this out of my system. I had to share it with somebody and I knew I would feel awful for waking up Brad. So, thanks for listening to me as I unload. I think I can go to bed now…it’s 12:48…Lord have mercy, I’m going to pay for this in the morning!



4 responses to “I’m up WAY past my bedtime

  1. Congratulations, and best of luck! I’m sure the photos will be beautiful! How exciting, Rebecca 🙂

  2. Hey Rebecca! I saw your post kind of randomly, and wanted to just send a shout-out… I own a company at http://www.edeeto.com that offers editing to the everyday photographer. Let us know if we can help!

  3. Pingback: Updates on things I’ve talked about recently « Confessions of a Reluctant Housewife

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