It’s just a “feeling” I have…

**I’m giving you fair warning….this is a long one…enjoy!**

Zoe has been sick for a week now. Yes, it’s just the common cold. No, you can’t really do anything for a 7 month old when they just have a cold. Yes, as a mom you want the medical world to flip upside down a DO SOMETHING for your precious baby who can’t breathe. No, that thing that you stick up their nose isn’t called a “snot sucker” like I so aptly describe it…it’s called a “nasal aspirator” – or so the nurse told me {ever so humorously} at the doctors office today. Yes, it feels like a form of ancient torture to watch your child suffer especially when they give you the confused “Why do I feel like this?” look and they’re not old enough to understand an explanation. Yes, sometimes they look at you with that sweet pitiful look and you feel like a horrible parent because you can’t just take away this stupid cold. Yes, it’s adorable when your baby falls asleep on the living room floor {because she can’t sleep through the night or her naps…because she can’t BREATHE…and so she falls asleep while she’s playing with her toys}.

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still sleeping
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still sleeping
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From last Friday all the way to Wednesday night at about 10pm I knew that what we were dealing with was the common cold. Even when she had a mild fever. I knew I couldn’t rush her to the doctor. I knew I had to “wait it out”. I even knew that it would be highly beneficial to all parties involved if I kept my cool and maintained a sense of humor. And then last night, as we were going to sleep, I heard wheezing. Brad and I bounced around the idea of me taking her to the doctor. I just really, really, really didn’t want them to look at me with this condescending “oh you silly mom…you’re freaking out over nothing” look. {I should probably mention that I go to an AMAZING pediatrician, and they probably wouldn’t ever look at me like that.}

When we woke up the next morning my normal “happy even when I’m sick” daughter was crying over everything. Like..I’m sitting down and I want to stand up. Cry. Mommy isn’t looking in my direction. Cry. I coughed. Cry. I accidentally rolled over onto my stomach. Cry. Mommy gave me bananas and I wanted pears. Cry. Hemmingway licked me. Cry. This isn’t normal. This isn’t my child. This isn’t just a cold anymore…at least, that’s what my “gut” was telling me.

So I made the appointment. Trembling. I can not even describe how scared I was that they were going to send me home with a pat on the head and a “There, there now mommy. You’re new at this so we’ll give you a pass. But, next time, make sure your kid’s actually sick when you bring her to the doctors”. But, if that was the case, I at least wanted to hear it from them.

In we go. Fever? No. Does she even freaking cough in the office? Barely. I go over the symptoms. Confess that I know it’s probably just the cold…but the wheezing combined with all that crying has me thinking it might be more. I am apologetic. I am unsure of myself. Zoe thinks she’s at a playground. She’s laughing and squealing at all the nurses when they’re in the room. As soon as they leave she coughs, cries, and lays her head against my chest. Punk. Doesn’t she know that she’s at least supposed to act sick in the doctor’s office? The doctor comes in to examine her. I start apologizing, again. And then the Dr. tells me that she has a double ear infection, it’s right underneath where they would treat…so I need to keep a close eye on it and do these homeopathic drops. And she’s going to give me a prescription to fill if I need to. Oh, and there’s a wheeze in her lungs. We’re going to do a nebulizer treatment immediately and I’m going home with a nebulizer…call your insurance company to make sure it’s covered. We’ll go over the treatment plan after the nebulizer treatment.

What? I was right? This is more than just a cold? I’m not an idiot?

Relief, for an instant, flooded my heart. The brief passing thought, “I know what I’m doing as a mom” crossed my mind.

The nurse brings in the nebulizer and tells me how to do it. With one hand I hold the hose up to Zoe and with the other I call my insurance company. Zoe thinks this is a game…she grabs, in no particular order: my insurance card, my phone, the hose, and she disconnects the nozzle thing. Meanwhile, insurance lady is telling me that I have to call a different company to get “pre approved”, can I write this number down? Ha! Sure…why not? Zoe continues to play her game. She adds “eat the nebulizer thingy” to her list of activities. I call the next place. That lady asks me why I’m calling her. Really? Oh, probably because I had nothing better to do right now…are you kidding me?!?!?!?!  The nurse comes back in, the doctor comes back in. I’m given a treatment plan that I’m going to have to read 10x’s to get the gist of…there’s a TON of different homeopathic stuff on it (from what I could tell…Zoe was crawling off my lap while she was talking…and crying). We pick up the garlic drops {ear} and then head to our pharmacy. After 1 hour, $50, and Zoe spitting mixed vegetables down the front of my shirt, we leave Target to head home for naptime. Zoe is asleep before we even leave the parking lot.

And that, dear friends, was the first part of my day yesterday. I am exhausted. My daughter is still miserable. And I am incredibly glad that I listened to my “sixth sense” and went to the doctors office. I walked away with a little more confidence in my role as a mother. So next time you’re in a similar situation…listen to your gut…there’s a reason you have it! Oh, and the nice lady at the pharmacy told me how to get my co-pay covered by the drug company the meds came from…so we went back for our refund! Whoohoo…

After all that reading you deserve a prize…here’s Zoe’s {incredibly late} 7 month picture
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When was the last time you listened to your “gut” and you were really glad you did?

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8 responses to “It’s just a “feeling” I have…

  1. My oldest son, who is now 14, has struggled with alleriges since he was 18 months old. He was always sick and always coughing. We had countless experiences at the doctor’s office exactly as you have described…sick as a dog, but showing no symptoms in their office. I was always told that what he had was the thing that was currently going around, croup, RSV, sinus, blah, blah, blah. It was always something viral, could never be treated. I knew there was something more to it and kept pressing the Dr. for deeper answers. They laughed at me, literally!

    We struggled throught for seven years and five more doctors before I found one who would listen. They tested him for allergies and found that he is highly allergic to 33 common allergens, like trees and grass, cats and dogs. Everything in his environment. He spent two and a half years doing allergy therapy and now is doing much better.

    Never apologize for taking your child to the doctor and asking hard questions. It is their job to do the tests and find the problems. Even if there is nothing wrong, I would rather know that than to continue wondering. And you know your child best! You know when there is something wrong.

    To make treatments easy on you, give them while she is asleep. Just hold the thing in front of her nose. Also ask about a mask for the nebulizer. It fits over her face and makes giving breathing treatments so much easier to administer to a wiggly baby. You can get them from the doctor or medical home supply. You’ll be glad to have it. Good luck and I hope Zoe feels better real soon.

    • OH! thanks for the tip!!!! We’ll try that with the nebulizer tomorrow…the mask thing came in the box w/it, but it doesn’t fit very well with her face. But, no worries, the nebulizer also came with a pacifier device…works like a charm!

      • Wow! A pacifier deivce? Sounds like heaven!!

      • yeah…she LOVES it…no complaining at all =) tonight she even did a little bit of a happy dance {I think that’s because of Brad though…he was doing a puppet show on the floor}

  2. rachael sonnborn

    HAHAHAHAHA! This totally made me laugh. I so know the feeling. I was always afraid to take them in for “nothing”. Then when I finally did, without fail they would act like nothing was wrong when I got there. No fever, no sneezing, no coughing, no crying. I would always be like: “I swear, they didn’t act this healthy at home.” Once after Josua fell and hit his head, he shook and acted disoriented and his eyes rolled back and he just wanted to sleep and he couldn’t hardly talk to us normally. We took him to the doctor and of course when we got there, he acted completely normal! He laughed at the doctors jokes and was climbing all over us, just like normal. What the heck!? Hope she gets better soon.

  3. I know how you feel! Oh do I ever! I hope your little peanut feels better fast. It’s hard when they’re sick. Praying for her.

    By the way, beautiful Great Dane! We used to raise Danes, but now we have a “tiny” golden retriever.

    • Thanks! Isn’t that weird how “normal” dogs look so SMALL after you have such a huge dog? And Hemmingway is a runt compared to most…but, we’re in love with the breed now, God help us…

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