You’ve heard about the people who lose limbs but swear that an appendage hurts, right? Like, if somebody loses their leg below their knee, they will SWEAR to you that their toes itch,, and it drives them CRAZY wanting to itch it….but they don’t have any toes. It’s called “fantasy pains”…I think. Well, I have that…
(Disclaimer: I AM NOT PREGNANT)
Sometimes I get nauseous. Really nauseous. And I think “oh my GOD…NOOOOooooooo”
And sometimes I am SO hungry I can’t see straight and I think “OH MY GOD. NOOOooooooooooo”
The other night I was laying in bed and I could have SWORN to you that I felt a baby kick inside me. And I thought “oh my GOD….NOOOOoooooooooooo”
It happened again on the way to church today. It’s enough to make me want to run to the nearest grocery store and buy EVERY pregnancy test they have, just to make sure that they all say “NEGATIVE”.
The day that I had Zoe I looked at Brad and said, “Aside from Zoe, do you know what the best part of today was? I’m not pregnant anymore!!!!!”. And then I ate a foot long sub, with chips and a drink. Because I could. And I heard the Hallelujah chorus in my head the whole time.
And then for weeks, and months, and even still every once in a while I look at him and say, “Hey..guess what? I’m not pregnant!!!! Thank you JESUS”
The one benefit of being pregnant…and I do mean ONE, is Zoe. For her, I would do it all over again. But, dang, pregnancy stunk. Hard core.
I’ve told Brad that he gets one more chance to spread his DNA and if I puke once, ONCE, if I so much as GAG….call the dr and make an appointment. And you know exactly what appointment I’m talking about.
I’m about to show you some pictures. Just one of me though, because I was so busy puking my brains out that I didn’t take a whole lot of pictures.
READ THE DISCLAIMER AGAIN