Progress

So we’re on day 3 (or something like that) of the “schedule” and I have to say it’s going swell. Mostly. I chose 2pm as “nap time”. I have no idea why…it just seemed like that’s what I hear most moms say when they talk about nap time. And so, because I don’t have a clue what I’m doing….I just did what everybody else did. Great for nap time…not so great for jumping off cliffs. Anyways…we’re only a few days into this and already she’s starting to get tired right at 2 o’clock!

I’m not counting my eggs before they hatch.

I promise.

It’s just kinda exciting.

Except that she still doesn’t like going to sleep in her crib…at least for me. She’ll do it for anybody else. But mom? No way! Mom will hold me. Mom lets me sleep on her chest. Mom has BOOBS!  Who wants to sleep on a crib when you can sleep on nice cushy boobs??? Not my daughter, that’s for sure! =)

As I’m typing this she’s in her crib for her 2 o’clock nap and she’s letting the whole world know how she feels about it. I hate this part. I hate it with everything in me. Letting your child “cry it out” has got to be some form of torture. It just has to be. Everything in me wants to run up into her room and grab her up out of the crib, hold her to my chest and whisper that “it’s going to be alright….mommy loves you….and I’m sorry I have to be so mean”. But instead I’m typing, to distract myself, and watching the clock as every minute goes by. At 10 minutes I can go put the pacifier in her mouth….I have 5 minutes left. Brad’s trying to read….we keep giving each other looks of desperation across the living room. Oh my goodness this is hard.

I know I only have a few days of the crying….and that’s what I hold on to. That’s how everything goes, or so I’m learning…For a few days it sucks. And then the storm passes and everything goes perfectly. In the end, it’s always worth the “crying it out” periods. But dang, it really really really sucks.

8 minutes.

2 more to go……

Um, scratch that. Here’s what just happened. Brad looked at me and said “it’s 2:30” and then I put the computer down, he put his book down and we practically ran upstairs. I didn’t bother to tell him that was only 9 minutes. I rushed into her room and put her pacifier in her mouth. Brad ran back downstairs for her glowworm that has (in the last 2 days) become a new comfort for her and then he ran back upstairs. We hit the button, the music started, and I kept rubbing her belly until she finally calmed down to a wimper. We told her we loved her and then quietly left the room. And then she started screaming. Again. Brad and I stood outside her door and I started crying (just a little) and he held me.

and then….just like that, within 2 minutes, she was asleep. Passed out. Ah!

Here’s for hoping tomorrow is a little easier. And the day after that is even easier and so on and so forth….until nap time is just like bed time. Here’s for hoping….

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