I’ve been dreading this decision. Putting it off until I can’t put it off any longer. I’ve bitten all my fingernails off thinking about it. And this is a little random tidbit about me… when I really need to think about something I’ll sit in a weird place. Like on the arm of the couch. Or randomly in the middle of the stairs. I’ve sat in both those places thinking this through. And it’s come down to this…..I simply can’t avoid it any longer….It’s time to put Zoe on a bonafide schedule.
BLEH. I HATE schedules. I hate having a clock rule my life. I don’t wear a watch. There’s something deep within me that rejects living by a schedule. In high school I felt like I was cattle being moved along as the bell rang from one place to the next…anybody else? anybody? I understand that there’s a time and a place for schedules…I agree with one at work, organizing events, so on and so forth. But when I’m off the clock…I’m off the clock.
But, I think Zoe’s getting to the age where she needs one. See, it used to be that I could do anything and go anywhere at any time and as long as she was fed every 2 hours….no problemo, she would quite literally sleep anywhere. Not anymore. Now she’s developing an opinion. And while (you know me) I encourage individualism and all that….this is really cutting into my grove. Because she’s not sleeping. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drives me up a freaking wall! Because she’s tired so she’s fussy and when she’s fussy she simply can not be pleased. (Yes, I do have half that sentence in italics….see the sentence immediately prior to it) I digress.
And here’s why I hate this curve in the road. It means that I have to be on a schedule too. Even though, you would think, that because I am the one initiating the schedule and making all the decisions here then I would be ok with it. Well, I hate to say this, but you’re wrong. I don’t want to have to be home every day at 2 so that she can sleep. I don’t want to have to think before I say “yes” to going somewhere. Just the thought of that makes me feel stuck. Bleh.
Oh well though. I don’t think my opinion counts on this one. A happy baby is a happy mommy….and vice versa. Wish me luck!