Rite of Passage

As a child it’s losing your first tooth. In high school it’s prom, or maybe it’s acne. Then there’s walking across the stage. Graduation. Then packing your car for the first time. Moving out. Maybe another graduation walk. The first “real” job. Maybe a walk down an aisle. The first fight as a couple. Not the little bickering fight…but the fight where doors are slammed, people are walking out of the room while the other person screams “don’t just leave”, makeup sex…that kind of fight. Then there’s stretch marks during pregnancy (unless your a lucky one). Sleepless nights…..all, rites of passage. And yesterday I experienced a new one.

The playdate.

That’s right….Zoe’s 5 months old.  So she’s ready for her social calendar to be packed with playdates. Obviously. Here’s how it played out….

I’ve been going to the same church for a few years now and I’ve made some really good friends and several acquaintances….mostly acquaintances. Valerie is one of them. We’ve had a few passing conversations. We know each others names. I knew she was really nice. She was pregnant at the same time as me. And up until about a month ago that was about it. And then we became facebook friends. And then she suggested that we do a playdate sometime. And I said, “heck yes”. Well, not really. I just said “yes”….but in my mind I said, “heck yes!!!!!!” and I grabbed the first day she said she was available.

And then I got nervous. Really nervous. Like a kindergartner on the first day of school. Like I showed up 45 minutes early. Literally. And then I worried the entire time in the car that something would come up and she wouldn’t be able to make it. I checked Facebook incessantly in case she tried to contact me. I worried that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. I thought about questions I could ask in case conversation was fading. I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I fed Zoe in the car so she would be on her best behavior. I mean…I was prepared. I wanted her to like me.

And so there we were. Two new moms. Two car seats. One stroller. Two salads, two diet drinks and a basket of fries….and oh my gosh…what a great time we had! We talked about pregnancy, labor, screaming kids, breastfeeding, stretch marks, how our bodies are completely screwed up, sex after birth, h0w nobody prepares you for this, husbands, our adorable babies.  And we laughed like only two new moms can do. Our daughters are 2 weeks apart. We understand. Not like, “My baby is 17 years old…I remember those days”. As in, “I can’t get my daughter to stop screaming and I don’t know what to do so I just walk away.” I understand. I do the same thing We cooed over each others beautiful babies (I’m not biased, but I would say we had the most beautiful babies in the world right there at that table) Lila fell asleep and Zoe started screaming which woke Lila up, who then joined in the screaming. Lila didn’t go full blown though, she just kinda cried a little bit…Zoe screamed. And we laughed. We paid the bill and packed up. In the parking lot we talked some more. Zoe screamed. And we agreed we should, for sure, do this again.

As I drove off Zoe fell asleep before we’d even gone a block. She was exhausted from her playdate, we were there for an hour and a half!!! We’d lost track of time. We had not only survived our first playdate….we did splendidly. That’s right. Splendidly.

We have another playdate scheduled for next week. And then another mom from church (we’ve been acquaintances for 10 years) just asked me if I wanted to do a playdate sometime. And again, I said “heck yes!!!!!!!”. Not really, I said, “sure that sounds like a great idea”….cool, calm and collected….cause that’s how I roll.

Playdates, a perk of motherhood.


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